This is a serious appeal to my favorite deities from The Chicago Institute of Arts. I need all the help I can get.

Sometimes, all I can do is pay attention. I have tried to understand, to see the entire landscape first, to be strong by knowing everything. Impossible. The more I learn the less I know; the smaller I am. This is frightening. And I am so tired of being afraid. Then I am stunned by the beauty and power of so much life. Life just doesn’t wait for me to know.

You can’t see, but I was watching a fish swimming just beneath the ice here. I couldn’t tell if it was sluggish because it was injured or because it’s better to move slowly in the presence of so much ice.

This is just about the way I feel right now. I can see it, but I just can’t seem to get next to the life I want. It’s okay. It’ll be that much sweeter when I finally do.