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    • Blue Boy 60" x 40" Oil on canvas

    . . . locked away

    They believe what they are told. In a pretend world everybody knows, nothing else matters. They believe. It is so. Anyone alive can see it is broken. It doesn't matter. It is still bigger than everything I do. More real to them than I am. They believe, so nothing gets through. Locked inside, they are safe. They don't see I am not there with them.

    They are not here — for me.

    They are angry with me. I am too bold. They are impatient with me. I am too fast. They are tired of me. I am too loud. They are afraid of me. Now that I too, am angry. They think I don't understand. They beg me to believe. Come inside. Be still. They need to believe I am there with them.

    I — a man — am not there.

    This is not for me. I have to know what things are made of, when to make more, what to stay away from, when to take more, what to put together, when to pull it all apart. I cannot just believe. I should not be locked away. I know I am not safe outside. They are not safe anywhere without me. I have to stand. They will have to turn to me when it all falls apart.

    Detail — Blue Boy